Becoming
by thatfantasyworldofmine
Summary: Post Journey's End AU - Eight weeks have passed since little Jack Tyler was born nearly two months prematurely. (NOTE: This fic is a one shot, but will serve as a transition piece between The Tyler Family series and the sequel series.)


The Doctor closed his bedroom door gently behind him and turned to face Rose's mum. Jackie Tyler stood in front of him, arms crossed, a worried expression on her face. He shook his head, and started towards the kitchen.

"Has she been eating right? Sleeping through the night?" Quietly at first, Jackie pelted him with questions as she followed him back out to the kitchen, but her voice got louder as they got further away from the bedroom. The Doctor had left his eight week old son Jack sleeping soundly, and Rose sitting on their bed next to his crib, watching over him.

"Jackie, last I checked it was Jack that's the newborn, not Rose!" the Doctor huffed irritably, then rubbed his forehead and sighed. Rose and Jack had been home for a fortnight, after six exhausting weeks of being in and out of Torchwood Medical Center. The Doctor had divided his time between Jack and Rose, and research; anything he could find that would give some inkling on how Jack's combined human/Gallifreyan DNA would affect him later in life. Now they were home, and the Doctor was concentrating on taking care of his family; his son was healthy and well, settling into routine. His worry had now shifted to his wife. This particular night had been a difficult one, and left the Doctor with no patience whatsoever to deal with his mother-in-law. He appreciated all their help, but both Rose and Jack had been home for two weeks now. This was his house. He needed a little space.

Unfortunately, Jackie wasn't fazed in the slightest by his snappy retort.

"Doctor, I know you're stressed; believe me, I do," Jackie told him, seizing his arm and making him look down at her stern expression. "But you have no idea what she is going through right now." Jackie pointed back towards the bedroom door for emphasis. "Rose is strong in so many ways, but she's also stubborn as hell, and she'll be the hardest person to convince that anything is wrong with her." Jackie's gaze held him, and he softened a bit; she was only looking out for her daughter. As usual.

"Jackie, I love Rose. I love her with all my heart, and I am not going to leave her to deal with any stress alone," he told her earnestly, taking her by the shoulders. "But please Jackie, for the love of Gallifrey, please get off my back, you're driving me crazy," he begged, and steered her towards the front door. "I'm here for Rose. Go home, play with Tony, have a glass of wine. For both our sakes. You've been in and out of here almost everyday since they came home."

Jackie pursed her lips, and sighed.

"Alright, Doctor. But I'm not sorry for nagging, an' I'll do it again in a heartbeat if I have to," she warned him. Then she smiled softly and patted his cheek. "Have a good night, Doctor." She left, and the Doctor closed the door behind her, blissful silence greeting him like an old friend. He could hardly believe he'd gotten away with telling Jackie Tyler she drove him crazy, but he guessed he would be getting an earful about it when he was less strung out.

The Doctor yawned, then eyed the bedroom door. If Rose wasn't going to sleep, then the least he could do would be to go and sit with her, so he made his way over and let himself in. She was sitting in nearly the same position he'd left her in; sitting upright on the bed, one hand stretched out holding the bars of Jack's crib, except her hand had fallen back to her side. She had slouched sideways a bit, leaning against the headboard of their bed, and his heart ached as he realised Rose had fallen asleep.

"Rose..." He sighed and knelt next to her, intending to wake her up. He stopped suddenly, wondering if he should. Jackie was right; he couldn't imagine what Rose was going through right about now. Her face was the thinnest he'd ever seen it, pale, and she had dark circles under her tired eyes. She'd been unable to leave Jack alone as soon as she was allowed of her hospital bed, for fear of something happening, and she would only sleep when he did. When they came home, she wouldn't even sleep when he did; she would sit by his side and watch over him, but this was the most exhausted he had ever seen her. It made his chest hurt; that even though he was always there to support her, ultimately there was only so much he could do for her.

Biting his lip, the Doctor decided to leave her where she was; any sleep was an improvement to what she had been getting since they'd been home, which was the bare minimum in moments like these where her exhaustion overpowered her need to stay awake for Jack. Silently, the Doctor withdrew from her side, careful to avoid knocking the cot as well, and gingerly lay down on his side of the bed. Her back was to him now; her hunched over form was the last thing the Doctor saw as he fell asleep.

When he woke, the bright blurry figures of the digital clock stared him in the face. He almost groaned; he'd been out only forty-five minutes, tops. Then he realised he could see the clock; Rose had moved. The Doctor rubbed his eyes and opened them fully to see Rose, standing over Jack's crib, silently watching him sleep. She didn't even notice as he moved off the bed and came over to her, only jumping slightly when he encircled his arms around her from behind and planted a soft kiss on her cheek.

"I fell asleep." Her voice quivered, and his heart hurt at how defeated she sounded.

"Rose, you need to sleep," he murmured gently in her ear. Her only reply was to hold his arms, stroking them with her thumbs.

"Look at him, Doctor," she whispered, gazing at her baby, seemingly unable to look away. "He's so small..."

"Rose." She reluctantly pulled her gaze from Jack to look up the Doctor. "Hmm?"

"Sleep. Please."

She pursed her lips, so like her mother, and turned back to her son. "I can't."

"You were before."

"Not really."

Her childish denial made him almost smile, then he sobered.

"Rose, look at yourself. You're exhausted, you're not sleeping properly - well, at all really, staying with Jack all the time-"

"Are you saying I shouldn't?" Her voice stayed low, but turned defensive. The Doctor didn't rise to it, knowing that in her mind, her argument was fully justified.

"I'm not saying that and you know it. I'm saying you're allowed to rest. You're allowed to take care of yourself; hypotension isn't just going to go away. When was the last time you ate a full meal?" She didn't reply. "Rose, Jack is healthy and growing strong, and I'm here for him too. Nothing is going to happen to him, love. Nothing."

There was silence for a long time; so long that the Doctor thought he might have pushed her too far. Then he heard a sniff, and felt her hands tighten on his own.

"Doctor, he's so small," she whispered, terrified that if she looked away, even for a second, his little chest might stop moving. She couldn't let that happen; what would she have done if something happened to him when she fell asleep? Rose didn't understand; why couldn't the Doctor see how important this was? This was their son! There was nothing more important than him; so what if she had to lose a bit of sleep to make sure he was okay? It was a sacrifice Rose was more than happy to make. Why couldn't the Doctor understand that?

The Doctor released his wife and moved around to face her, bending to her level.

"Rose, d'you trust me?"

She nodded silently.

"With anything?"

A slight hesitation, but another nod. She still wouldn't look at him. The Doctor gently placed his hand on her cheek and turned her head to face him. Her eyes flicked to his and tears fell at the effort it took to look away from her baby boy.

"I'll stay and watch Jack for you, Rose. You need to sleep," he told her, almost pleadingly in a hushed voice, tenderly caressing her cheek. Rose's shoulders sagged in defeat, and he brought her into his arms for a hug, holding her tight. She hid her face in his shoulder and clenched his shirt in her hands, trying to ignore the concern for her son nagging at her, like it did whenever Jack wasn't under her watchful gaze.

"Don't look away," came her muffled voice. "Don't leave him."

"I won't, I promise."

"Not for a second."

"I'm staying right here."

He felt her body tense in his grip as she steeled herself, then she pulled away, forcing herself not to look at Jack. She knew that if she caught sight of her little boy, even for a second, she wouldn't be able to stop watching.

Rose crawled into bed, her back to the crib, anxiety making her heart thud quickly as she tried not to cry.

"Doctor, maybe-"

"He's alright, Rose, I'm right next to him," the Doctor's calm voice assured her. "He's sound asleep. He's sucking his thumb."

Rose closed her eyes, blinking away the last tears and hugged her pillow tightly. _He's alright, the Doctor's got him, he's okay,_ she kept telling herself, taking deep breaths, and found it slowly started to calm her down.

"You're still there?" she asked, her voice unintentionally small.

"I'm still here, I promise."

Multiple sleepless nights seemed to catch up with Rose all at once, and once she was comfortable, she felt she could quite possibly stay here forever. She was so tired... physically, emotionally, mentally... The anxiety was still there; it just seemed to take a back seat as Rose felt herself start to drift off. Eventually, for the first time since her son had been home, Rose Tyler fell into a deep, peaceful sleep, her unconscious mind finally getting some rest from her constant anxiety.

She didn't feel the Doctor pull the blankets over her and tuck her in, or kiss her forehead goodnight. She didn't hear him as he whispered in her ear how proud he was of her, and what a beautiful person and mother she was, and was still becoming.

Jack started to stir, and the Doctor quickly crossed the distance from his wife to his son, gently picking up the whimpering baby in his arms.

"Shhh, Jack, don't cry," the Doctor murmured, holding his baby against his chest and rocking him. He kissed the top of his head. "Look at Mummy, she's asleep, just like you should be... that's it... back to sleep..." The sniffles faded, and the Doctor smiled. He continued to gently sway from side to side, lulling Jack slowly back to sleep. "You could teach Mummy how to go to sleep," he whispered to his son, and chuckled softly. He watched Rose, love in his eyes, so relieved that after two months of post-natal depression, she was finally going through the first stage of getting better. He'd not expected to get any closer to convincing her to sleep tonight than he had the last fortnight, but once again, his fantastic Rose Tyler had surprised him. Jackie's words echoed in his head: _"Rose is strong in so many ways, but she's also stubborn as hell..."_ The Doctor just hoped that now her stubbornness would make a positive effect in her recovery.

All in all, the last eight weeks had been both heaven and hell all wrapped up in one big package. So much stress and anxiety... but also plenty of smiles, joy and precious moments they had shared. It gave him hope; the thought that there was still many thousands of more precious moments that he and Rose would share with their son. This moment, this milestone they as a family and especially Rose had just started to overcome; it was only the beginning.


End file.
